The secret to photographing teenagers

As a mum of three sons, journalist Morag Turner has spent nearly two decades capturing every stage of her boys’ lives. Now they’re teenagers, her role as photographer-in-chief is different but far from over. Here she shares how to keep the family album growing as your kids do.

It was only last summer that I heard a friend sigh, “I’ll give you a fiver if you smile for the camera.” She was talking to her 14-year-old son who had decided he was done with family beach photos. Far from thinking she was mad to offer payment, I completely understood. Mothers of teenage boys are all chasing that one decent “framer” for the kitchen shelf from someone who can’t see the point of the photo in the first place. “We’ve got tons of photos already, Mum,” they cry. True – but also not the point.

Parents love capturing images of their offspring, even when those offspring are over 6ft tall. While lining up for a photo feels desperately uncool to them, we still cherish it. It’s hard to accept the sudden shift after years of freely snapping away. As a mum of three boys (17, 15 and 11), I’ve realised there are distinct phases in any parent’s photography career. First, the newborn stage, where your inanimate little bundle is adorable from every angle. Then the magical baby years, when every day offers a new milestone to document. The toddler phase is next: a frantic blur of action shots – slides, birthdays, wobbly bike rides and pool splashes.

School brings a whole new chapter: proud doorstep poses on momentous first days, chaotic school plays, last-minute World Book Day costumes (my son once went as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle – that well-known literary classic), sports days, prize-givings, Spiderman birthday parties, cricket team photos with trophies held aloft. Thousands of snapshots that document not only your child’s life but your own journey through parenthood. Crucially, young children want to be photographed. “Take a picture of me, Mummy!” is a frequent chorus. They’re thrilled to see you pull out your camera. Not remotely self-conscious, they’re delighted to star in their own story.

But like so much in parenting, one day everything changes. Around the 11-12 mark, the enthusiasm fades. Gone are the proud poses with Lego creations or art projects; suddenly, you’re being asked to put your phone away. While parents still see the same magical child, the teenage brain deems posing uncool. But don’t panic – the family album isn’t over. You just have to respect new boundaries and accept that some moments are better committed to memory than to camera roll.

Follow their lead and capture real moments 

One of the most important things is recognising their growing independence. They want space and agency, so the key is spotting when they might be happy to be photographed – not just when you want to take one. Forget staged family poses – teens hate them, and their faces will show it. Instead, be spontaneous. Capture them in genuinely happy moments. For my boys, that’s after whizzing down a ski slope or emerging from the sea with surfboards. Their enjoyment is clear on their faces, so that’s the time to take a pic. Sometimes I call their names; sometimes I just snap them mid-action with friends. Forget lighting, portrait mode or the random dog/bin/sign in the background. None of that matters. Natural beats curated every time.

Don’t overlook the everyday magic 

It’s also lovely to record simple everyday moments – just as you did when they were small. I’ll spot one of my boys intently reading a book or all of them laughing around the kitchen table, and reach for my phone. Often they don’t even notice. Teens can’t grasp that to us they’re as breathtakingly brilliant now as they were as babies and that today’s quick snap becomes a treasured photo in 10 years. No parent ever wishes they took fewer pictures. So yes, take the sneaky shots now and then. And remind them how much they love looking back through old photos – and that if you don’t take some now, they won’t have that joy later.

Respect their privacy (and the internet)

One big caveat: these images are not for sharing far and wide. At any age, but especially during the teenage years, parents must think carefully before posting online. No teen wants their face plastered across social media. They’ll call it uncool or invasive, and they’re right. If you do want to share something, always ask first. Check not only that they like the photo, but that they’re comfortable with the message it sends. Save exam results, big wins and proud moments for the family WhatsApp group, not the entire world. If they trust you not to overshare, they’re far more likely to pose in the first place.

Build their confidence, not your vision

Also, help them feel they deserve to be in a photo. Teens can be self-conscious. Tell them they look great – boost their confidence. Don’t say, “Take off that hoodie and brush your hair” – that guarantees a retreat. Accept that the picture may not be the coordinated vision you hoped for. One of my favourite family photos is from New Year’s Eve in Cape Town. We were all dressed up except my 13-year-old nephew who was wearing a bright yellow hoodie with a giant smiley emoji. He stands out – but so does his grin. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

When all else fails… bribe lightly!

Offer the fiver. Or the PlayStation time. Or the ice cream. Whatever helps if they’re clearly desperate to avoid Aunt Ethel’s 80th birthday line-up. Honestly, would you have wanted to be in that photo at 14? As with most things in the teenage years, stepping into their shoes helps everyone get along – and helps you get that great shot for the kitchen shelf.