22 thoughtful questions to ask your mum

One day, we’ll long to hear her voice, her stories and her laughter, and wish we’d asked our mums more while we still could.

Whether they're biological mums, adoptive mums, stepmothers or grandmothers, mother figures play a huge role in shaping us. It’s not an exaggeration to say that for many, it’s their most formative early relationship.   

Hence the instinct to piece together our mothers’ stories to pass to the next generation. If you’re looking to go beyond superficial conversations, reconnect or celebrate your mother's life, these 22 thoughtful questions to ask Mum will help uncover her memories and preserve this meaningful experience for years to come.

Breaking the silence: the power of asking questions

Initiating deep conversations with your mum may feel daunting. Many people struggle with emotional vulnerability – and that's perfectly OK. Or perhaps your relationship is imperfect or distant. In both cases, centring the conversation around a structured set of questions to ask Mum about her life allows you to explore your parent-child bond at your own comfort level. 

Skip the questions that don’t feel appropriate and focus on sharing positive experiences at first. That way, you'll create a relaxing atmosphere that slowly builds openness. 

Whether you meet face-to-face, through video chat or by phone call, start the conversation with some icebreaker questions that get your mother to reflect on her interests without too much emphasis on the past or difficult feelings.  

Lighthearted questions to ask Mum

• What do you most like doing in your spare time?

• What makes you laugh uncontrollably?

• If you could plan one perfect day, what would you do?

How Mum’s formative years shaped her

These playful questions to ask Mum are designed to help you explore the cultural influences, fun, endearing and maybe slightly embarrassing moments that shaped her character.

Nostalgic questions to ask Mum

• What were your favourite bands as a teenager? 

• What fashion phases do you look back on with regret?

• What comes to mind when you think of the town you grew up in?

• What was your first job and what do you remember most about it?

Delving into memories of her favourite music, bold fashion choices and places she lived should spark joyful reminiscence and might even reveal surprising similarities between her younger self and you – helping you see each other in a new, more relatable light. 

Uncovering Mum’s secret history in photos

Now that the conversation is flowing, look through old family photo albums together to reveal a treasure trove of untold stories from your mother's past. Ask her: “What's the story behind this photo?”

This is a great question to encourage your mum to explore milestones such as her school days, wedding, first house – every occasion she felt worthy of capturing on film. 

Questions to ask Mum about her life in photos

• Who took the photo? 

• Who's featured in the background? 

• How did it feel to be photographed at the time?

These unconventional questions about the less obvious details in the frame help her place the moment in its proper context, bringing new insights from her past to life. 

Next, ask her to consider how her perspective on the people, places and emotions captured in the photo have changed. Reflecting on her past and present self can provide fresh insights into the lessons she's learned.

Mum on motherhood

Speaking of life lessons, try exploring your mum's experience of becoming a parent. 

You may have already heard the stories of your first words, first steps, how many hours she spent in labour etc. But behind each milestone was a woman discovering her strength, patience and capacity for love. 

Emotional questions to ask Mum about motherhood

• What did you do when you first found out you were pregnant?

• What was your biggest fear about becoming a mum?

• How do you think motherhood changed you as a person?

• If you could go back in time and give yourself as a new mum one piece of advice, what would it be?

• If you could change one thing about how you raised me, what would it be and why?

• What's something your parents did that you actively avoided when raising me?

• What's something your parents did that you made sure you did when raising me?

Uncovering these memories can help you understand the joy and challenges she overcame to become the person she is today. 

Deep and meaningful questions to ask Mum

Finally, the bigger, more thought-provoking questions about life can help your mum share her innermost hopes and dreams.

Perspective-shifting questions to ask your mother

• What's the secret to living a happy and fulfilled life?

• What's the one family tradition you hope endures long after you pass away? 

• What do you believe happens after you die?

• If you could leave one message for future generations, what would it be? 

These legacy-defining questions for Mum will help her to reflect on deeply held values and beliefs. For instance, you might learn more about her spiritual outlook, philosophical inclinations, or the principles that underpin her life choices.  

Preserving the memories that matter with Popsa

These discussions with your mother are precious, and finding ways to preserve these shared memories can help you create lasting keepsakes.

Consider documenting these trips down memory lane in various ways. For instance, keep a journal to note anecdotes and insights. You can also use a voice recording app, like Otter AI, to easily capture whole conversations and transcribe them into text. 

Alternatively, for a more enriching record, create a Photo Book of the pictures you examined, alongside quotes. This will help you weave your mother's perspective into a visual narrative of her life and legacy.

The Popsa app offers user-friendly tools to help you design beautiful photo keepsakes that can become cherished family heirlooms, or the perfect Mother’s Day present. Seeking inspiration? Find out how you can turn meaningful conversations into the perfect gift for Mum.

Share your memory book projects and Mother’s Day photo gifts with @Popsa on Instagram. We'd love to see how you transform meaningful conversations into treasured family keepsakes.